Friday, 16 December 2011

Testing is dead because

Testing is dead because:
  • we know how the user thinks
  • we know how the sales people think
  • we know how the support people think
  • functionality that is written down is perfect
  • designs are fully understandable
  • designs are not ambiguous
  • a user will follow the manual strictly
  • a user will do no strange things with the software
  • a user will not make mistakes using the software
  • interfaces to others systems are always the same and standardized
  • there are no risks with introducing this product into the world
  • the program will never crash because we made it crash proof
  • the customer will believe us because we've got blue eyes
  • calculations are never wrong in computers
  • there is nothing that influences our software externally
  • memory is cheap and we can use as much as we want
  • storage is cheap and we can use as much as we want
  • there is no limit to storage
  • access rights for users don't change
  • graphics are completely reliable because calculations made are reliable
  • the user will understand our menu and will not be confused
  • a hacker will not try to harm the software
  • we will not be DOS attacked
  • user will not give their password to strangers for a bar of chocolate
  • up scaling the software after a period of use is just adding some resources
  • big amounts of data in the database will not cause problems
  • lots of users logging into the system will not cause problems
  • lots of users working in our software at the same time will not cause performance loss
  • everybody has a fiber connection to the internet
  • adobe flash works on all machines
  • the user will have plug-ins in their browsers for all kinds of stuff we put in our software
  • the software will run on any platform
  • changing the software is done in a jiffy
  • changing the software will not change functionality
  • adding functionality will not cause other functionality to fail
  • our FAQ is more than enough to help users with their problems they created
  • a developer is never tired and always on the edge of clear thinking
  • developers are super-humans and make no mistakes
  • embedded software will not react strange when hardware is dropped into water
  • embedded software is easily updated without clearing the complete device
  • planes can fly because the software is reliable
  • because of the agile approach it is bug free software
  • because we really thought a lot about it there is no way this will fail
  • communication within the development team is perfect
  • communication between development and the business is perfect
  • nobody will complain on great software
  • the business goals are perfectly implemented because we know those goals
  • nothing strange happens when electricity will fail
  • data imported in the software is always consistent and clear
  • translations to other languages is perfect, we understand all languages
  • ..... (I could continue, but this will make my point I guess)
Yeah, sure. Don't believe the rumours. Have fun testing!
I certainly will.

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